Things, they are a changing

Last January I was determined to make some changes, so right before Christmas 2016 Matt and I gave up soda. I drank so much water last January that I was almost sick of it, but I stuck it out and went over 8 months without any soda, and when I did have soda again on vacation, I got a headache from it and declared right then that that was it for soda. Matt also stuck it out, and he was more of a soda drinker than I was. He also got a headache from soda during vacation and we said, "bye Felicia" to the pop for good.

Now, the changes I started a year ago were not just about soda for me. I determined to read my Bible everyday. Now, that may not sound like something that would be a challenge, or even something that I should have just started last year, but things get in the way. Life, kids, grocery shopping, dumb excuses and sometimes reading your Bible gets put on the forget about it list and there have been times in the past where I have remembered to read the Bible at 9 or 10 at night (and I go to bed right between 9-10) and then said, "I'll just read it tomorrow."

I have the Bible app on my phone and have had it for years now, but I was utilizing the best way that I could. I would set reminders to read the Bible and I was just not doing it like I should. I started with small devotionals and I worked my way up from there. I felt so much better after just a few weeks of reading my Bible daily and learning more about the Bible on my own each day. I read devotionals and other peoples interpretations for 9 months before I decided to dive right in and read the Bible straight through in 90 days. Some days were hard, (especially the old testament parts that repeated itself) but I stuck with it and finished it all the way through. It has been 13 months of reading the Bible daily and I know that I actually crave it now. The Bible and water, my two daily cravings. It takes a few weeks to start a habit and now over a year later I have two very healthy and needed habits in my life. I would encourage others to start these habits also, as I know my life has changed and I can feel the difference that it has made this past year.

This January I decided to walk 100 miles a month, read the Bible daily and more deeply and eat a healthier diet. So far so good! Still reading the Bible, been eating a keto diet all month and as of yesterday I have walked over 181 miles.

God bless

No children or adults were injured in the making of this blog post

Today I went to Walmart. Now that isn't an extraordinary or special thing at all. Now that we have a Walmart store 5 minutes from our house we frequent it a lot more. Today's visit was special because of what happened while I was there.

Picture this, I needed a few grocery items and got my tiny cart that I love so much, just as long as I walk in such a way that I will not hit my shins on it... again. I have my rain jacket on, because I know that it will probably start to rain since on the drive there it had already started to heavily rain. I was alone, that is key for the end of the story. So here I am with my bright pink jacket, my jean shorts and flip flops. I probably looked silly since it wasn't raining, but I did not care.

After I was in the store for about 48 seconds the rain started to pour so loudly that as it pounded on the roof I had to wonder if it was just rain or if it was hailing as well... turns out it was just rain. I continue to shop and grab all of the wonderful items that I needed. Then I feel like I am in a movie and everyone is in on something, everyone except me. People just stand where they are, they stop shopping and some looked to the front doors of the store and stared outside. One guy rain outside, probably to roll up his windows, but the rest of them stopped and just wondered what the sound was. I did not because I knew what the sound was and I wasn't going to stop unless the electricity went out. I did go a little quicker because I did not want to get stuck at Walmart or away from home with no electricity. As I neared the end of my short 10 minute adventure, with the rain still coming down very quickly, I made my way to the glorious self-checkout and proceeded to ring up and bag my things.
When I walked past the first door, because I parked on the other side, it was filled up with people stopping and waiting. And then when I got to the second door, the same thing happened. People were huddled up so tightly and so rudely if I must say so, I mean they were blocking the door after all, that I barely made my way outside. Yes, I dared to walk in the wet stuff that was coming down outside. I was given shocked looks and mouths that were open so wide in disbelief that I was so bold as to walk outside in the torrential downpour. I put my bright pink hood on and happily walked myself to my car, which was parked very far away, but I wasn't afraid of drowning because I know how to swim and I know not to look up when the rain is coming down. I walked outside and put my things in my car and then I even walked to the cart return and placed my tiny cart in it. After that several people followed me (not exaggerating and I wish I had taken a picture) and we got into our cars and drove off. I guess I was the person that needed to show the others that what we were experiencing was safe to touch.
And remember when I mentioned that I was alone? Even if I wasn't alone I would have probably still walked outside with my boys because they are old enough to walk, they can change when we get home and it was just rain. If they were little I might have stayed inside and shopped for a little while longer. And all of those people that were waiting were ALL adults!

Lesson learned, you can walk in the rain, you can shop in the rain and if you see someone that looks weird in their raincoat and shorts you shouldn't judge because maybe they know something that you don't know.

Talking

I have always been called a talker. I have always been somebody to naturally talk to others. Here is a secret, I don't enjoy talking. I am very awkward. I say things that I don't even realize that I say until it is too late and I make the weirdest small talk. I try to use funny anecdotes to ease situations and awkward silences are way worse to me than talking.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy chatting with friends on most days, but talking just to talk is not something I enjoy, but I end up doing it quite often. Here is my dilemma: If I don't talk I look like a mad or grumpy person because I am also not a natural smiley person. I have never had a natural looking smile when I am just sitting or standing around. If I do try to then I have some awkward looking joker smile on my face and I feel like that is much worse. Back to talking, I grew up with it being just my mom and me. From time to time there were various step-dads around and step siblings, but mostly just my mom and myself. We didn't sit and talk constantly, instead we watched movies together. When I did see people I did have a tendency to talk a lot because of the lack of people around me to speak with. I don't remember the exact moment in my life that talking was difficult for me and the awkwardness began washing over me, but it was probably right after I became a mom.

As most moms could tell you, when you have a baby they become the focus of a lot of your thoughts and conversations. When you become a mother right before you turn 19 your friends don't really want to hear about how the baby slept last night or the amount of spit up he/she produces and so on. That is probably around the time that I got really awkward and tried to engage with people and they would give me this look that was like, "do you know what you are saying?" And I would respond with a look that said, "I can't stop being awkward, sorry."

The older that I get the more that I just want to clam up and not speak. I am afraid of the words that will come out of my mouth and the tone that I say it in and the look on my face. The thing that I enjoy doing most with words is writing. So, could I go back to the time where we passed notes to each other folded up in funny shapes or in a shared notebook? Can I go back to a time where writing was more meaningful then words that spew out of my talking hole?

If I have ever offended you, or if I do in the future, please forgive me because I am 98% sure that I was probably not meaning to. And I am also 98% sure that note passing isn't going to catch on between the 30 something and older crowd. I will continue to talk because I am not shy and I still don't like awkward silence. If I am saying things that you can tell I am just spewing out of my mouth, please feel free to interrupt me and help me!

My oh my how the time does fly

I feel like school is starting really late for us this year! It doesn't start until August 29th. When I was a child it seemed like summer was very quick. Now that I am an adult it does seem rather quick, but in a completely different way. Being a mom gives me a new perspective on time and allows me to see things changing and moving in different ways than before when I was the kid. I have gotten to witness reading and writing for the first time and learning to tie shoes! I got to see the boys ride bikes and scooters and learn Bible verses for the first time. I get to hear their adventures from school in their own words and I get to witness the looks on their faces when new things happen for and to them. 

This summer they left to go camping for their first times. When did they get old enough to leave without mom and dad? I am still not sure that they are, but in time maybe they will be! They went camping with our good friends and besides the fact that they are boys and the fact that they don't always behave (I have been trying for 7 and 11 years to get them to mind me and it only works half of the time) they survived the trip without their parents! I survived without them too!

Moving on... the point is how time goes. When did I grow up? When did the boys start? We all grow at our own paces and at different times, and if we don't pay close attention to it then it will go so quickly before our eyes that we may not notice at first! This year I have the boys in 2 different schools! This is the first year since Levi started school that they won't be at the same school. Levi is starting 2nd grade in just over 1 week. I am not worried about him at all. He is at an age that I am not worried about his schedule or school work. He has proven himself to be pretty reliable at getting work done. The biggest worry I have with him is that he won't want to talk to anyone... Seriously! We could call him shy or picky. We could call him stubborn or specific. I am not sure how I would describe him exactly, but he frequently tells us that he doesn't like people mostly. That other kids whine and complain and don't do their work and that annoys him. I don't know what to say really because other people that don't do what they are supposed to do annoy me too. I do tell him to be nice and to try to be nice to those kids. Last year, according to his teacher he was a popular kid. I laughed when I heard that because of how he would talk. So, I am off track, but basically the biggest worry with Levi is that he is nice to others. 

Now, the worry that I usually have is Bruce. He is 11.5. I only added the half because at this age it feels like every step towards teenage hood, no matter how small, really seems to matter. He is going through changes already that I had no idea to be prepared for this early! He is starting middle school this year... I know, I can't believe it either. No way, Matthew and I do not have a child in middle school already right? In 3 years he will be in High School??? See, remember the time flashing by so quickly thing? There it is! Middle school is here! Well, almost. We still have 1 week. When I was in school we didn't have middle school, we had jr. high. That was 7th and 8th grade and that was a hot mess. Everyone is moody and going through changes and the teachers of these ages deserve awards! I mean, I only have 1 child that is this age and I am barley hanging on sometimes, haha. Bruce isn't a fan of school. Actually, he loves school, but just so he is around people (opposite of Levi who doesn't want to be around any people). He doesn't like the homework, the teaching, the listening or the paying attention. That isn't just my mom talk, he literally says that! He hasn't figured out the concept of school yet obviously! He is a talking machine and never meets a stranger. He takes HOURS to do homework. Easy homework. I can't imagine how long it might take to do middle school homework! I am sure that this will be the year that things will click for Bruce and he will do his work and enjoy school. I mean, he hasn't stopped saying he can't wait for school for the past few weeks! Bruce is growing and changing and I have confidence that he will do great, or pretty well or something like that!

I have been praying for both of the boys and their school years already and I will continue to pray for them and with them everyday this school year. I need to remember to keep cherishing these moments and times and remembering that the boys are definitely 2 different people and they won't act the same or grow the same, but I should love them and pray for them no matter what! This summer has been the biggest changing summer that I have witnessed from the boys since they were really little and I will remember that as the time keeps going and things keep changing for them!

Long time no type

I was in 5th grade when I first started to love writing. We had to do a young authors book and I decided to make my book different by making a poetry book. It was very cheesy, but it wasn't too bad. I think I got honorable mention on it or something like that. It was a creative idea at the time and I made it work. My poems were about candy and other random things, but for a 10 or 11 year old it wasn't half bad. That was 20 years ago... Wow! I loved ELA (English Language Arts) and I especially loved writing assignments. I loved essay writing, poetry, speech writing and just about any other random writing I could do. In high school I really started writing poetry more and more. I wrote over 200 poems my freshmen and sophomore years of HS. I wrote some short stories and toyed with the idea of writing a book... I have actually thought about writing a book a few times, but I just don't have the dedication or patience for it. I really enjoy free time, family time, church responsibilities, wifely duties and so on and so on. I know I could do it all if I really tried, but I feel like every celebrity or joe blow is now a "writer" and that takes something away from it for me. It seems too easy to get published these days.

Wow, that got off topic really quickly. Well, not really because the topic is the fact that I haven't written on the blog in a long time and I did explain that I have no patience for dedicating a lot of time to writing.

We have had a crazy few months to put it in words. In March I turned 30! I loved turning 30, really I did! 30 finally felt like an adult age to me. When people hear you are in your 30's they no longer think (mostly at least), wow you are a child, but now they think you are suddenly an adult who knows things. At least that has been my experience with it! The week after I turned 30 Matt accidentally clicked something to get orders for Alaska. Yes, accidentally! Well, they canceled those orders because of blah, blah, blah (if you aren't in or associated with the military then you probably wouldn't get what I could say to explain it, I barely get it myself) but either way they were cancelled. However, then he basically flagged himself to get noticed that he had been at Bragg for 6.5 years already and it was time for him to move on. He had 2 options. ROTC instructor or instructor at Fort Polk. We knew that the hours he would have to work at Fort Polk would likely be crazy busy and we decided to have him pick ROTC instructor. He got the options and 1 was basically the neighbor to Fort Bragg. Now, we (especially me) have been praying about what to do next for awhile. We wanted to buy a house, but after being some place for so long already our chances of not moving were slim so we didn't want to risk it. When NC came up on the list we both instantly liked it. We thought about our other options, FL, WA, MS, KY, etc... but nothing came close to how we felt about basically staying where our kids have grown up. 

Okay, so long story so far, but I will cut to the chase. We picked NC and we decided to buy a house! Matt has 5 years left in the Army until retirement and Bruce starts middle school this month, so staying here had a lot of plus sides for us! His orders were for August and we started the house buying process in May! We actually got to start the paperwork right around our 8th wedding anniversary and our offer was accepted and we moved in in July! 

We moved out of Fayetteville, but not too far out of it. Matt works in Fayetteville and started last week! The boys start their new schools in less than 2 weeks and I am recovering from my broken toe/foot bone and should be healed soon too so I can finish unpacking completely!

The next update I will actually talk about our summer and other things like that! I might actually stick with blogging this time, maybe just maybe it can motivate me to move on to bigger things! 

9 years

9 years ago this week I started dating Matthew. We met while I was working and he was taking a lunch break. It wasn't a setup, we weren't at a bar or looking for anyone. He saw me and I saw him. He kept coming in for lunch and I obviously kept working each day. After a few times I actively tried to get him sit him in my section. He asked for my phone number eventually after some prompting from the other recruiters he worked with. He called me and we instantly hit it off. I started to text him and he called me since he was driving. We talked on the phone for over 5 hours straight before our first date. I felt an instant connection and just wanted to know him more and more. We went to IHOP at 3 am after talking on the phone and talked more there. Our first date was supposed to be that Saturday, but we had an impromptu first date instead. We dated for 18 months before we got married. We did have our ups and downs and I think that it definitely helped prepare us for marriage because we got a lot of issues out of the way before we decided to be together "forever".

I still feel to this day that we were meant to be. He is my best friend and I can't imagine what I would do without him in my life. I know that sometimes I drive him crazy and he does the same to me too for sure, but marriage isn't about always being happy or right, or getting what you want all of the time. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but that doesn't mean that it isn't hard at times. I see a lot of people comparing their marriages with others, but we never know exactly how others' marriages are and I think that that can only help us lose sight on our own marriages.

6 years

Today marks the 6 year anniversary of our arrival in Fayetteville, NC. We have experienced a lot and quite a few things have changed since 2009! Here is a quick top ten list of the things that have changed since moving to the NC.

10. Levi wasn't even 1 before we moved here so pretty much every major milestone for him (walking, talking, birthdays, school, etc.) has happened here.
9. Bruce started Kindergarten here and he is now in his last year of elementary school aka 5th grade!
8. Matt was an E6 when we moved here and he has just hit his 3 year mark as an E7.
7. I have been a part of a PTO, FRG leader, nursery supervisor, sparks director and more. In other words, I have volunteered a whole bunch since NC welcomed us!
6. Matt and I had both had our tonsils out prior to coming here (I was 7 and he was an adult) but now we have had a combined total of 9 surgeries in 6 years. One of those was also my first blood transfusion, not that I am proud of that, but it was something pretty major that happened.
5. Matt was on GRF (global readiness force) and actual deployed while on it. He went to Haiti 36 hours after the earthquake in January 2010 and spent 6 weeks there. I also believe that that might have been the longest he has ever gone without showering too.
4. We have traveled to IA, AR or MO 4 times in 6 years, which isn't a lot, but they are over 20 hour trips one way.
3. The boys and I all got to see the ocean for the first time (and 2nd, 3rd and 4th). We have also vacationed in the mountains multiple times (5ish hours away) and Great Wolf Lodge!
2. Matt and I ran our first half marathons 1 year ago. I have since ran my first 10k race and my second half marathon.
1. We have spent a lot of the 6 years apart. Whether it was Haiti, Iraq, schools for Matt or training we have, as a family, had a lot of absence makes the heart grow fonder moments.
BONUS- We have been visited by grandparents, parents, aunts, an uncle and cousins since living here and also one of my very best and oldest friends (Leslie).

I could probably name 50, 100 or even more things that have changed or we have experienced, but those are the top ones that are in my head! I cannot beleive that when we arrived here 6 years ago we thought we would be lucky to make it to the 3 year mark and here we are way beyond that and there are no plans in sight to leave. We actually don't mind it here and we have found a lot of amazing friends/family and an absolutely wonderful church here as well. Here is to the next however many years we have here!