Today I went to Walmart. Now that isn't an extraordinary or special thing at all. Now that we have a Walmart store 5 minutes from our house we frequent it a lot more. Today's visit was special because of what happened while I was there.
Picture this, I needed a few grocery items and got my tiny cart that I love so much, just as long as I walk in such a way that I will not hit my shins on it... again. I have my rain jacket on, because I know that it will probably start to rain since on the drive there it had already started to heavily rain. I was alone, that is key for the end of the story. So here I am with my bright pink jacket, my jean shorts and flip flops. I probably looked silly since it wasn't raining, but I did not care.
After I was in the store for about 48 seconds the rain started to pour so loudly that as it pounded on the roof I had to wonder if it was just rain or if it was hailing as well... turns out it was just rain. I continue to shop and grab all of the wonderful items that I needed. Then I feel like I am in a movie and everyone is in on something, everyone except me. People just stand where they are, they stop shopping and some looked to the front doors of the store and stared outside. One guy rain outside, probably to roll up his windows, but the rest of them stopped and just wondered what the sound was. I did not because I knew what the sound was and I wasn't going to stop unless the electricity went out. I did go a little quicker because I did not want to get stuck at Walmart or away from home with no electricity. As I neared the end of my short 10 minute adventure, with the rain still coming down very quickly, I made my way to the glorious self-checkout and proceeded to ring up and bag my things.
When I walked past the first door, because I parked on the other side, it was filled up with people stopping and waiting. And then when I got to the second door, the same thing happened. People were huddled up so tightly and so rudely if I must say so, I mean they were blocking the door after all, that I barely made my way outside. Yes, I dared to walk in the wet stuff that was coming down outside. I was given shocked looks and mouths that were open so wide in disbelief that I was so bold as to walk outside in the torrential downpour. I put my bright pink hood on and happily walked myself to my car, which was parked very far away, but I wasn't afraid of drowning because I know how to swim and I know not to look up when the rain is coming down. I walked outside and put my things in my car and then I even walked to the cart return and placed my tiny cart in it. After that several people followed me (not exaggerating and I wish I had taken a picture) and we got into our cars and drove off. I guess I was the person that needed to show the others that what we were experiencing was safe to touch.
And remember when I mentioned that I was alone? Even if I wasn't alone I would have probably still walked outside with my boys because they are old enough to walk, they can change when we get home and it was just rain. If they were little I might have stayed inside and shopped for a little while longer. And all of those people that were waiting were ALL adults!
Lesson learned, you can walk in the rain, you can shop in the rain and if you see someone that looks weird in their raincoat and shorts you shouldn't judge because maybe they know something that you don't know.
09 February 2017
Talking
I have always been called a talker. I have always been somebody to naturally talk to others. Here is a secret, I don't enjoy talking. I am very awkward. I say things that I don't even realize that I say until it is too late and I make the weirdest small talk. I try to use funny anecdotes to ease situations and awkward silences are way worse to me than talking.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy chatting with friends on most days, but talking just to talk is not something I enjoy, but I end up doing it quite often. Here is my dilemma: If I don't talk I look like a mad or grumpy person because I am also not a natural smiley person. I have never had a natural looking smile when I am just sitting or standing around. If I do try to then I have some awkward looking joker smile on my face and I feel like that is much worse. Back to talking, I grew up with it being just my mom and me. From time to time there were various step-dads around and step siblings, but mostly just my mom and myself. We didn't sit and talk constantly, instead we watched movies together. When I did see people I did have a tendency to talk a lot because of the lack of people around me to speak with. I don't remember the exact moment in my life that talking was difficult for me and the awkwardness began washing over me, but it was probably right after I became a mom.
As most moms could tell you, when you have a baby they become the focus of a lot of your thoughts and conversations. When you become a mother right before you turn 19 your friends don't really want to hear about how the baby slept last night or the amount of spit up he/she produces and so on. That is probably around the time that I got really awkward and tried to engage with people and they would give me this look that was like, "do you know what you are saying?" And I would respond with a look that said, "I can't stop being awkward, sorry."
The older that I get the more that I just want to clam up and not speak. I am afraid of the words that will come out of my mouth and the tone that I say it in and the look on my face. The thing that I enjoy doing most with words is writing. So, could I go back to the time where we passed notes to each other folded up in funny shapes or in a shared notebook? Can I go back to a time where writing was more meaningful then words that spew out of my talking hole?
If I have ever offended you, or if I do in the future, please forgive me because I am 98% sure that I was probably not meaning to. And I am also 98% sure that note passing isn't going to catch on between the 30 something and older crowd. I will continue to talk because I am not shy and I still don't like awkward silence. If I am saying things that you can tell I am just spewing out of my mouth, please feel free to interrupt me and help me!
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy chatting with friends on most days, but talking just to talk is not something I enjoy, but I end up doing it quite often. Here is my dilemma: If I don't talk I look like a mad or grumpy person because I am also not a natural smiley person. I have never had a natural looking smile when I am just sitting or standing around. If I do try to then I have some awkward looking joker smile on my face and I feel like that is much worse. Back to talking, I grew up with it being just my mom and me. From time to time there were various step-dads around and step siblings, but mostly just my mom and myself. We didn't sit and talk constantly, instead we watched movies together. When I did see people I did have a tendency to talk a lot because of the lack of people around me to speak with. I don't remember the exact moment in my life that talking was difficult for me and the awkwardness began washing over me, but it was probably right after I became a mom.
As most moms could tell you, when you have a baby they become the focus of a lot of your thoughts and conversations. When you become a mother right before you turn 19 your friends don't really want to hear about how the baby slept last night or the amount of spit up he/she produces and so on. That is probably around the time that I got really awkward and tried to engage with people and they would give me this look that was like, "do you know what you are saying?" And I would respond with a look that said, "I can't stop being awkward, sorry."
The older that I get the more that I just want to clam up and not speak. I am afraid of the words that will come out of my mouth and the tone that I say it in and the look on my face. The thing that I enjoy doing most with words is writing. So, could I go back to the time where we passed notes to each other folded up in funny shapes or in a shared notebook? Can I go back to a time where writing was more meaningful then words that spew out of my talking hole?
If I have ever offended you, or if I do in the future, please forgive me because I am 98% sure that I was probably not meaning to. And I am also 98% sure that note passing isn't going to catch on between the 30 something and older crowd. I will continue to talk because I am not shy and I still don't like awkward silence. If I am saying things that you can tell I am just spewing out of my mouth, please feel free to interrupt me and help me!
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