Love

My story is a little different than a lot of others and also similar to a lot of others as well. If you know me personally you know the key details, the things that make me who I am! My whole life changed for the first time 11 years ago and again 9 years ago. 11 years ago I was pregnant with my first born child. I was 18 years old and I had just graduated HS in May. I didn't have a drivers license nor did I have a job. I was living away from my mom for the first time and I had just made my, I think, 7th move in 3 months. Since I was 5 I had lived in the same house and the same place, but once I got pregnant things changed. Fast forward to January 27, 2005 and my first baby boy was born. He was 7 lbs 15 oz and he was the most precious thing. I turned 19 almost 6 weeks later and although I was a teen mother, I had graduated and was living on my own (so to speak). In March, a few weeks after my birthday my baby boy had to have an emergency surgery. He was 7 weeks old and it was St. Patrick's Day. He had Pyloric Stenosis and after 2 weeks of him losing weight and projectile vomiting somebody finally believed me enough to do tests and get him fixed up. He was completely fine after his surgery and has been healthy since, but I started motherhood as a young mother already and then I was scared on top of it.

July 2005 I moved again and I was blessed enough to have an aunt that let me live with her to get out of a tough situation. I started working at subway in November and shortly after I finally got my license. I was 20 years old with a 1 year old and I could finally support myself and drive. I met my best friend while working at subway and although I had gotten myself back into a tough situation she helped me get out of it once and for all. I finally got to live completely on my own with my son and we started to make a life for ourselves. I got a job at Ryan's buffet and grill on July 4th 2006 and that was one of the best things I did. The job opened my eyes to new things and I finally met the man of my dreams. I was his server. He came in to eat a lot, and we finally caught each others attention. After some weeks he finally asked for my phone number and we started dating shortly there after.

That was almost 9 years ago. I had a son who was 20+ months old at the time and Matt came into both of our lives in the exact perfect moment. We dated until March 2008 when he had my son (who was already calling him dad all on his own) ask me to marry him! We had a very short engagement of about 7 weeks before we got married on May 17, 2008. We got pregnant right around May 20, 2008 and our second son came barreling into this world on February 2009. In September 2009 Matt adopted our first born son and made him officially his, although there was no doubt that he was his long before that! In October 2009 (almost 6 years ago) we moved here to NC, expecting to live here for a few years. We have endured many things in our 9 years together, but the best thing has been how we have grown together and how my journey has brought me to where I am now. I never would have expected to be so loved and where I am today with my 2 amazing sons and my incredibly loving husband! I prayed and prayed so much when I was pregnant, 19 with a baby, 20 and living all on my own and every tough situation that happened to me. I know that God answered my prayers and although it wasn't quick for me it was in His perfect timing and I can see the amazingness that has come from that!

"Fitting in" and being a Christian

There is this song that I heard while I was running. It goes something like, "I wish that I could be like the cool kids, cause all the cool kids they seem to fit in. I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids."

It goes on to say that the girl doesn't walk the straight line and the cool kids do, or something like that. It was funny that I heard that on a day that I was thinking about what it meant to be like everybody else. I have always been a friendly person and can talk to just about anyone. To me there is always a difference between being friendly to people and others thinking of you as a friend. Sometimes I feel that I don't have very many friends and it makes me want to "fit in" with those who do. In reality, I should not want to fit in and I should be happy that I don't. I have always been the kind of person that marches to the beat of my own drum so to speak. I say random things at random times, think random thoughts at random times and I am pretty much random. I don't support the social issues that are popular to support. I spew words out of my mouth that don't always make sense to others. I don't care for the beach. I am a Christian who chooses not to drink and I wear modest clothing. I could go on and on about what I do and don't do, how I think and what I like, but I won't. My point is this... why do we want to fit in? Especially if we are Christians.

I have been out of high school for 11 years now and cliques and fitting in are still issues. They may not be the jocks, cheerleaders, band nerds, drama and debate kids and so on, but they are still there and very apparent if you look around.

We shouldn't look like the rest of the world. The world does not like God's word. We can't live in rebellion like the world does. I do fit in with the body of Christ, even though we are all different. We should stop caring about how others see us and care about how God sees us. He loves us. We should love one another and share in each other's joy, sadness, fear and everything as a church family.

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

John 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

Luke 6:26 Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets.

James 4:4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

To end this I will just say that my family loves God! We pray before we eat, in public or at home, it doesn't matter! I pray that my fellow Christian friends can be their own person too and not fit in with the world! We shouldn't want to "be like the cool kids". And in my opinion, we are the cool kids anyway!

God Bless!

January 26 and January 27

Today is Bruce's last day of being 9 years old...


Tomorrow he will be 10 years old and I am pretty sure I will officially feel old!


Here are some Bruce facts!
-4th grade
-A/B Honor Roll student
-Great Reader
-Can shoot a bow, throw a football and throw punches... and he does them all pretty well!
-He is friendly and doesn't know a stranger
-He went from getting in trouble everyday at school because of his attention span and talking to behaving everyday!
-Bruce has started to do laundry and other chores to help around the house more
 I could probably write for days at least to name all of the things that Bruce does and accomplishes, but I won't do that! I remember January 27 every year since 2005.
2005- Bruce was born after 13 hours of labor
2006- 1st birthday party, and he started walking shortly after
2007- 2nd birthday party at Ryan's and he started sleeping in a big boy bed!
2008- 3rd birthday, no party, just Matt, me and Bruce at Chuck-E-Cheese!
2009- 4th birthday party and I was due with Levi in 2 weeks (and now they have birthdays exactly 4 years and 2 weeks apart).
2010- 5th birthday, Matt was in Haiti, Poppi and Lolli came for their first visit to NC and the first birthday that we celebrated in NC.
2011- 6th birthday, he got money and started the Red Robin birthday tradition and themed birthday parties! We had a Cars party this year (and it was a joint party with Levi).
2012- 7th birthday and we celebrated with a dinosaur themed party Arkansas! Actually, 2 dino themed parties, 1 in AR and 1 in NC. We also did bowling and Red Robin!
2013- 8th birthday and we had a superhero party in Missouri and Red Robin before we traveled.
2014- 9th birthday, superhero party again, but in NC. Red robin on his birthday! And he prayed for snow for his birthday and got it! 2 weeks later Levi prayed for snow for his birthday and we got it then too!
2015- The first year since 2010 that we won't have a party, but I have other plans! :)


I was 18 when Bruce was born and I wouldn't recommend that to anybody, I would say to wait until marriage, however, in my situation that has already happened, I do not regret it for one minute! Having Bruce helped me to grow as a person, a Christian and become a great mother for him and eventually Levi. Bruce has always been the person to keep me on my toes, and his attention issues that we have dealt with this year has been no exception! I am so glad that I am his momma and he is our first born!




And to add, Bruce told me the other day that he was going to get married when he is 20 years old, which is only 10 years away now. I told him that he better get a job and start saving for it now! Why are the boys both in hurries to grow up??? I will remember to savor these next 10 years though, just in case!
 

28 is just 1 number

I have always had a pretty good memory. My memory is especially good when it comes to things that no one else typically remembers and random facts about things. For instance, just the other night we were watching ESPN and they were talking about the gold jacket ceremonies and Kurt Warner's name was brought up. I turned to Matt and said that Kurt Warner used to play arena football and I don't know why I know that! He said that he thought it was CFL that he had played so I looked it up to see if my memory really was so random. I was right. Seriously though, how does my mind remember that but I can't remember how to multiply fractions?


I remember most of my birthdays. I say most because I don't remember the first 4 at least. 1 year on my birthday John Candy died (he was an actor and I loved his movies, Uncle Buck for instance), another year we went to discovery zone and a different year I had a birthday party in April when it was warm, even though my birthday is March 4. I have always loved my birthday and loved getting older each year.


Since becoming a mom I have had my birthday on the back burner and we don't celebrate it as much. I don't let that bother me though, but probably because we go all out for the boys birthdays who are just 6 and 4 weeks before mine! The first birthday of mine that we celebrated in NC was one of my favorites! Matt missed Bruce's 5th birthday and Levi's 1st birthday after deploying to Haiti within hours after an earthquake struck. We didn't know when he would be home or how long he would be gone, so I figured he would miss all of our birthdays. After 6 weeks of being gone he was home unexpectedly days before my birthday! The next year he was deploying to Iraq in May and had to go to JRTC before hand. We knew he would be gone the month of March and surprisingly he left a few days after my birthday instead of before. There have been a year here or there where he was in the field in the spring, but not on my birthday! I think it is funny that the only birthday, holiday or special day that he has NEVER missed (as of yet) has been my birthday!
sine
The funny thing about that is that my birthday isn't treated very special. Don't get me wrong, the boys and Matt make my birthday nice by going out to eat and letting me buy whatever I want, but no parties, no cakes or anything too extravagant! I love that we celebrate my day in a low key way and don't do it big, because then I would feel that I have to make all of their birthdays even more special!


In 53 days I will be 29 and I am hoping that Matt's arm is healed enough to go out to eat and see a movie as a family! The last year in my 20's is going to be a blast! I wasn't a typical person in their 20's because I became a mom when I was almost 19 years old. I have grown so much since becoming a mom almost 10 years ago (wowza, I feel old), but I would never change that or I wouldn't be me!

What the what?

In 20 days we will be the parents of a 10 year old! WHAT? When did this happen? Only a few years left until middle school and teenage hood. I remember when I turned 10 specifically because I was 2 whole hands old! Haha! And my favorite number was 13 and I was even closer to 13 once I hit 10! 2 digit birthdays to me meant that you weren't a little kid anymore. Now that I am about to the mom of a 2 digit number kid I want to think that he will be a kid for quite sometime still, but I know it is just a matter of time now.


Bruce is a great kid. Don't get me wrong, he gets in trouble on the daily and has more attitude than I did at this age (and I was known for my attitude unfortunately) and he is sluggish when I am high speed. Despite the normal kid stuff and the extra Bruce aloofness he puts off at times, I am blessed with a sweet and caring boy (well 2 actually, but this is about the almost 10 year old this time). Bruce is smart and considerate and wants everybody to like him. He has started standing up for himself and is so complimentary and respectful. One funny thing, he is just like a mini Matt. No, seriously. He acts like him and does the same kinds of things that Matt does and did (and some are things that he hasn't seen or heard Matt do).


Bruce likes to watch football and is starting to understand it too. He cheers and jeers and enjoys watching! He has also started to learn how to play football with Dad in the backyard. He wants to play in the fall and we are excited that he has finally wanted to play a sport and doubly excited because he wants to play a sport and that Matt and I both love too. He wanted to be a RB, but he throws the ball so well! You would think that he has been playing it for years with the way he throws the ball. Bruce is in 4th grade and I cannot believe that he that old! It makes me feel even older each year on his birthday. We are very proud of Bruce and who is becoming and we look forward to seeing what this year brings for him!

Year in Review-40 questions to learn about my past year!

YOUR 2014

• 1.What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about?
•  I ran a 1/2 marathon this year. It was my first race ever and it took me 3 hours to complete, but it was a huge accomplishment that I will forever be proud of!
• 2.If you had to describe your 2014 in 3 words, what would they be?
• Fun, Trying and Different
• 3.What new things did you discover about yourself?
• I discovered that I carry my stress with me and I try to take care of things on my own and I can't always accept help. I have also learned that when provoked I seem like I am a lot angrier or defensive than I really am!
• 4.What single achievement are you most proud of?
• Running. I am proud of the fact that I never ran (not even in school) and now I know that I can run, and continue to do so!
• 5.What was the best news you received?
• That we weren't moving to WI after thinking that we were for a week!
• 6.What was your favourite place that you visited in 2014?
• The Smoky Mountains for the second time! We went in 2011 too, but the boys were younger then. It was a really nice cabin and a fun time all around!
• 7.Which of your personal qualities turned out to be the most helpful this year?
• My friendliness.
• 8.Who was your number one go-to person that you could always rely on?
• Matt, which is to be expected since he is my husband!
• 9.Which new skills did you learn?
• I started to learn Italian, lifting weights to a small degree and how to be an advocate for my children at their school.
• 10.What, or who, are you most thankful for?
• I am most thankful for Jesus Christ dying for my sins. On Earth I am thankful for Matt, Bruce and Levi and many friends and family too.
• 11.If someone wrote a book about your life in 2014, what kind of genre would it be? A comedy, love story, drama, film noir or something else?
• I think my life would always be somewhat considered a comedy. I guess I would say a Romantic comedy?
• 12.What was the most important lesson you learnt in 2014?
• To stretch before you run and to take protein too! Seriously!
• 13.Which mental block(s) did you overcome?
• I am still working on it, but other peoples opinions of me! I have been trying to not care what others have to say about me!

         14.What 5 people did you most enjoy spending   time with?
Matthew, Betsey, Rachel D. (although this year we didn't get to spend as much time together), Bruce and Levi

• 15.What was your biggest break-through moment career-wise?
• Since I am a stay-at-home-mom I will say that my biggest break-through was both of my kids going to school for the first year and I had to learn to be my own person again!
• 16.How did your relationship to your family evolve?
• As a mom I became more calm. As a wife I became more calm. As a daughter I became more calm and so on and so on! I guess I would say that I have become a more calm person all around and that has helped!
• 17.What book or movie affected your life in a profound way?
• The Bible
• 18.What was your favourite compliment that you received this year?
• That I was a good nursery boss! Also that I am a good mom and a good friend.
• 19.What little things did you most enjoy during your day-to-day life?
• I enjoyed drinking coffee with my husband. I also enjoyed the few lunch dates I had with friends and running almost everyday since May.
• 20.What cool things did you create this year?
• I made a few wreaths, a few paintings and a few canvas pieces.

• 21.What was your most common mental state this year (e.g. excited, curious, stressed)?
• Most days this year I was happy!
• 22.Was there anything you did for the very first time in your life this year?
• I already mentioned it, but I ran a 1/2 marathon and a 10k! 13.1 miles is a lot to learn how to do when you had never run before. I also joined a gym!
• 23.What was your favourite moment spent with your friends?
• Call me crazy, but I love AWANA! I love AWANA for the friend connections made and the kids.
• 24.What major goal did you lay the foundations for?
• Running 13.1by miles. Can you tell what some of my year was focused on?
• 25.Which worries turned out to be completely unnecessary?
• Matt and I went to Myrtle Beach by ourselves and left the boys with Rachel and Bella with Tina. I was worried that the kids or Bella would misbehave.
• 26.What experience would you love to do all over again?
• I would love to go to the mountains again for the third time!
• 27.What was the best gift you received?
• I can't choose one. I cherish all of the gifts that I get!
• 28.How did your overall outlook on life evolve?
• I have always had a pretty sunny outlook, but I think that since I have been free mostly this year I was even sunnier for the most part. And skeptical of people too.
• 29.What was the biggest problem you solved?
• The kids not getting along! We gave them separate bedrooms for the first time ever.
• 30.What was the funniest moment of your year, one that still makes it hard not to burst out laughing when you think about it?
• We have so many funny moments in this house that I can't pick just one to be the top. Most of them lately involve Levi because he is so cute and funny!
• 31.What purchase turned out to be the best decision ever?
• My gym membership is what I would have said this past summer before school was in. Now I would say that my running watch and Matt's running watch would be the best purchases!
• 32.What one thing would you do differently and why?
• I would have to say that I would have procrastinated less this year if I could take that back. Here I am with 2 days left in the year and I am still procrastinating about small things.
• 33.What do you deserve a pat on the back for?
• I honestly will say that I don't think I deserve a pat on the back for anything. God gets all of the credit for the things in my life that are good and the glory too.
• 34.What activities made you lose track of time?
• I risk the sound of being an obsessed running junkie, but running or going to the gym! Also playing games with the boys, when we play board games I think 30 minutes have passed and next thing I know it has been 2 hours!
• 35.What did you think about more than anything else?
• God and whether or not I am doing the right things for Him. Also Matt and the boys and whether or not I was being the wife and mom that I should be and if I was being a Proverbs 31 woman or not.
• 36.What topics did you most enjoy learning about?
• Football. I have liked football for quite some time now, but there were so many things that I didn't know about football until this year! I am sure this question was looking for a more sophisticated answer or something, but I am a simple girl!
• 37.What new habits did you cultivate?
• Here we go again! Running, stretching, sporty stuff and cooking with Tastefully Simple!
• 38.What advice would you give your early-2014 self if you could?
• I would tell myself to stop using my left hand since I sprained it on January 2 and didn't know that until March. It hurt, but I kept using it and now almost a year later it is still hurting! I would have also told myself to stop eating junk food because Christmas time is totally the wrong time to try to cut that out!
• 39.Did any parts of your self or your life do a complete 180 this year?
• I got off of my bum and started to get healthier! What is funny is that I always told Matt about how lame working out was and I could do it if I wanted to, but I didn't want to! Now if I go a few days without working out I feel worse!
• 40.What or who had the biggest positive impact on your life this year?
• The other women at my church. I always have a hard time connecting with other women. I like football, I know a little about cars, I don't always want to talk about my feelings and talking on the phone isn't my favorite thing to do anymore. I fit in with my husband more than other women, but this year I got to connect with other women more and got to see that I am not the only one who feels that way about phones and sports! And, someone can be considered your friend without spending every day with them! I love my church family and am blessed with the women from there especially! Also I would say Matt! He is just an amazing husband and him and the kids help me so much to be a better person!

Christmas Letter Fun!

Every year I think that I should write a Christmas Letter to let everyone know of the wonderful things we have done for the year. Once I think it through I always decide against it because I realize that we live relatively boring lives and people probably wouldn't think our last 12 months were as exciting as I do! This year I decided that I will write about it online and if you want to relive the last year with me you can, and if not then you can ignore this! I am going to do this in a few different ways, so stay with me!




Top 10 list of 2014
10. Antonia Sprained her left hand by slipping on ice... the only patch of ice in the whole driveway.
9. Bruce turned 9 years old and Levi turned 5, we celebrated with a superhero party!
8. We got snow in NC. More importantly, we got snow for Bruce's birthday and exactly 2 weeks later we got even more snow for Levi's birthday!
7. Bruce was an Awana clubber of the year for TNT.
6. Matt hit his 13 year mark in the Army!
5. Matt coached the women's softball team at church and played men's softball. Antonia played women's softball.
4. We had our second mountain vacation in a cabin that was in the mountains this time!
3. Levi started kindergarten, Bruce started 4th grade and I started selling Tastefully Simple.
2. Antonia joined a gym in May and started training for a 1/2 marathon. Matt also trained for the 1/2 marathon (although he didn't have to try as hard) and in October we ran the Myrtle Beach Mini Marathon and we both completed it!
1. We had visitors in both September and November!


The highlights from each month.
January- Traveled home from our trip to MO, OK and AR and Bruce's birthday!
February- Snow, birthday, birthday party and a lot of missed school!
March- My birthday and the awana games!
April- Spring break and our 2nd visit to the mountains.
May- Our 6th wedding anniversary and softball.
June- Matt's birthday and Bruce finished 3rd grade.
July- Independence day and Bella's birthday
August- Levi started kindergarten and Bruce went to 4th grade.
September- Grandpa, Grandma and Aunt Sharon visited and Matt went to JRTC.
October- Matt got home from JRTC, we had a mini kid-free vacation/ 1/2 marathon in Myrtle Beach.
November- Matt's parents came for Thanksgiving and I ran a 10k in my fastest 10k time!
December- 1 year of pretty much pain free for me and more things to come perhaps!






Silly Memory Poem- I made this up on the spot, so don't judge too harshly!
January started oh so blurry as we headed home to North Carolina in a hurry. We rushed and we hurried to the truck and I fell on my bottom and said, "That's my luck!" We traveled the many hours to make it home, it felt as long as a trip to Rome! Shortly after we got back, well a few weeks or so, Bruce turned 9 and then we actually got snow! The boys were excited and Bella was too, but we had wet socks and no one knew what to do. No snow boots and we thought that was okay, but 2 weeks later we had more snow come our way! This time it snowed a lot more, so much more that we could barely open the door! A few days later it did melt away, which was lucky for us so the birthday party could stay! The rest of February is kind a blur, but March wasn't too bad I am sure! March was my 28th birthday you see,  we ate and we had dessert and chai tea. We had the awana games this month too and we waited to see if the sky would turn blue! April was Easter and spring break and vacation, so much to do this month I had no time for multiplication. Wisconsin we were told would be our new place, but after a week it got erased. We are staying at Bragg for as long as we know, but really where else would we go? May was our 6th anniversary of marriage, we celebrated, but not with a ride in a carriage. May was filled also with running and sports, and Matt and I played softball in fields, not courts! June was Matt's birthday and summer break, it was also VBS and a time to bake! July was Frisbees and fireworks fun, which was not a great month to go for a run. August was busy with school, the boys both went this year which was cool! September saw family come to say hi, and for a few weeks Matt had to say bye. October was Myrtle Beach! And also the 1/2 marathon goal was reached! November was chilly and turkey too, plus more family visited us for a few. December is just starting, but it will be so busy, I just hope I don't end up dizzy. This year was fun and a crazy one too, I took on some leadership things for something to do! I know that next year will be just as great because the love of our family and God helps set us straight!






That sums up our year a bit! I hope that you made it through the whole thing and be glad that you only had to read a made up poem and not have to hear me sing!


God Bless!