My final appointment!

Today is my last dentist appointment... Okay, I'll still get my cleanings and checks twice a year, but for work, I'm done! :) For the first time in my life I have no cavities! I have been cavity free for over a year now! I had a lot of work to get done... My first bit of work was almost 2 years ago. I had 9 cavities filled, 1 root canal, 2 permanent crowns, a pulled tooth, a filling fix that they messed up and my final 3 appointments; my partial. I get to pick it up today and hopefully it fits and won't take me too long to get used to!

It is what it is

I'm not one who usually brags about herself, but to show a point I will for a second. I get told by family, friends, strangers, acquaintances, Facebook friends, doctors, etc how wonderful our kids are, how great of parents we are and how good I am at motherly and wifely things. If I blushed, I would... I do however get speechless, I'm not good at compliments I think because I never know what to say except thank you, that means a lot. Which is true, but it sounds so generic. It really does mean a lot. I grew up hearing one compliment usually, that was how pretty I was. My mom always said, "Antonia, you are so pretty" or "you are beautiful and pretty" or some other comment about my looks only. Being pretty is great, I guess, but I never really thought of myself as just pretty. I thought I was smart, talented, kind, giving and creative. Now she sometimes tells me that I used to be good at writing or I used to be good at drawing, but those still come out as back handed compliments since she says them like that, "used to be" like I am not those things anymore. The point is, she saw me as pretty, and I really think that is all she saw. I am who I am despite how I was raised. I have had 3 step dads, on the third one still now. I have never met my birth father and probably never will. My moms first marriage ended when I was 5, second one when I was 7 or 8 I think and she got married right before my 14th birthday. I was raised by a single mother who wanted to be just the single part most of the time and not always the mother part. Don't get me wrong, this isn't about bashing my mother, because she did help coach my t-ball team when I was 5 and was a co Girl Scout leader up until I hit fifth grade (although I remember my aunt mostly with Girl Scouts due to my mom having surgeries and other issues). She was there when I was younger, she was sporadic as I got older, but I think once I hit teenage age I was pretty much on my own. I didn't live on the street or anything, but I fended for myself. I was mouthy, still am, but it was a defense mechanism more than anything. I got called names that I would never call anybody. I was told that she loved me, because she had to, but she didn't like me. I got a lot of my Christmas gifts at garage sales, and most of my school clothes too. No problem with garage sales, but it was embarrassing being 13,14,15, etc and going to people's houses that I went to school with and having my mom buy their clothes, purses or other things. I wasn't raised how I am raising my kids, and I think that's because instead of being the rule and treating my kids how I was treated, I am the exception and I am raising them how I wish I could've been raised. No child, no matter how old, (and I am 26) should be told to "F" off more than once by their mother. I love my mother, I pray for her every night, but I also strive to not be like her.

October

This year has been incredibly up and down. It started out with Matt coming home a few days before 2012. So, of course it started out amazing! January was busy, Matt went back to work, we drove to Joplin, MO (then Fayetteville, AR and Crossett, AR), Bruce turned 7 and Levi turned 3... We then had their joint birthday party, valentines day, food poisoning or stomach flu for the 3 boys on my birthday and Bruce got stitches! April was Easter and Bruce's spring break. May was another bout of doctors appointments for me, including an MRI, an IR (interventional radiologist) Memorial Day and then an embolization (a surgical procedure where they put in coils in some veins). June was Bruce's last day of First Grade, Matt's 29th birthday, block leave and a visit from Poppi and Lolli. During the month of June I also took on a new role and started helping with the FRG (family readiness group). July was swimming, heat and Matt in the field. I also had another embolization, just 6 weeks after the first. August was more field time for Matt, Bruce starting 2nd grade and getting back into the groove of everyday with Levi. I also started as the co-leader of the FRG at the end of the month and the first part of September. September was filled with meetings, football, family time and fun. And Bruce got glasses and lost his 2 front teeth! October was Matt re-enlisting indefinitely, getting promoted and heading to JRTC. The boys and I are busy just keeping busy, Bruce with school, Levi with getting bigger and smarter everyday and me with my tasks and things I've chosen to do! We also have gotten involved in a great Sunday school class and we help with a great nursery one Sunday a month. This year has brought more friends, more fun, more love for our family and closer relationships to each other and God. It has also brought pain for both Matt and myself (normal getting older things, getting hurt and/or chronic pain. All in all this year has been pretty good. I think the rest of the year will bring more things our way that should be good! I'm thankful to God for everything in our lives! God Bless!